God is always more than we can imagine or control or understand. Or so our readings seem to tell us in different ways this week. And the call to follow is always into something bigger and deeper than we comprehend. (Fifth Sunday after Epiphany. Isaiah 6:1-8; Psalm 138; 1 Corinthians 15:1-11; and Luke 5:1-11.)
You may like to read what I wrote three years ago which focused on the Isaiah reading.
The imagery of God in the temple from Isaiah reminds us that in truly encountering the presence of God we are overwhelmed by the glory and power. God is so much more than we can see or comprehend. And understandably our reaction is to become very aware of our smallness, vulnerability and uncleaness.
And our wonderfully familiar story of Jesus calling Peter is another image of overwhelming abundance and “more-ness” of God’s presence. Peter, who has surely had the worst night of his fishing career – nothing – has this “chance” encounter with Jesus firstly experiencing him as an amazing teacher and preacher and then as the provider of more fish than can be imagined. From not enough to more than the nets could handle! In the face of this power and generosity Peter is overwhelmed and knows himself to be small, vulnerable and not worthy! But Jesus looks into the heart of Peter and says “Do not be afraid, from now on you will be catching people!” or “don’t let your smallness or fear hold you back, I am inviting you into a bigger deeper world and purpose. Come with me and we will gather people together!” The beginning of the adventure for Peter.
But as always the question, the task for us, is to consider what this means to us in our time and our place. Well firstly, if God is more – more glorious, more powerful, more vulnerable, more generous, more inclusive, more demanding, more forgiving – then our life as followers is always going to be more wonderful, more demanding, more chaotic, more meaningful than we ever imagined or bargained for. (And if we are feeling – or desiring to feel – in control then maybe it is not God that we are encountering but our own egos or the culture?!) Followers, especially the institutional church, have always tried to “domesticate” God and the Son which is quite understandable but ultimately impossible.
If Peter had known what was ahead of him he would have been even more afraid and maybe not left his nets and followed? Likewise we are often hesitant to follow. Richard Rohr describes the spiritual process as Order, Disorder and then Reorder, and we talked last week in response to the Jeremiah reading about being called into a way of growing that is about plucking up, pulling down, turning over and rebuilding and growing. For some people that is more tumultuous than for others but encountering the living God made present in earthquakes and silent birth deep in winter caves, lightening and star light from millions of miles and years ago, and overwhelming presence in canyons and cathedrals, is always going to be an encounter with the More - love, power, grace than we can predict, control or understand. We are always to some extent going to be out of our depth!
Secondly we can dare to contemplate following this one, this Jesus, because he revealed that the “More-ness” of God was expressed in abundance and life giving encounter. Where and when Peter and we think there is nothing left to catch or enjoy, the Holy One of God reveals there is more of what we are looking for than we knew was possible. Following Jesus, with some trepidation and justifiable fear, is only really possible because we have seen him to be generous, healing, loving, life giving. Something inside us has called us to leave our nets and our catch behind and follow him deeper into life, into the “more” of God. Indeed the loving-kindness and mercy of God assures us that we can dare to follow, one faltering step at a time, because God is the source of all good and love and life.
And thirdly our readings hint that the call is just that, a journey of faltering steps deeper and deeper into the mystery and more-ness of God. We know that Peter shall get it right and spectacularly wrong again and again. And St Paul describes us as “being saved” by holding firmly to the message we have received. It is not that we are saved in a single moment by baptism or conviction or uttering a special prayer but that being saved is a process of faith and growth and living. Our first encounters and decisions are very important and often memorable but it is the daily living that saves us, or converts us, as we are made and remade by the thousand steps and moments of surrender and acts of compassion, that constitute the life of faith. And faith for us, as it was for Peter and for Paul, will no doubt include experiences of loss and humiliation, testing and failure, injury and insult, as well as all the wonderful moments, but these experiences do not negate or undo the good of God, the love of Jesus, but rather draw us closer into the love that is greater than any specific hurt.
What Peter glimpsed at the beginning in the bulging nets of fish about the more-ness of God that Jesus lived out of only became more true for Peter as he grew into his fullness. And even in his demise he filled the nets of heaven with the folk who made up the early church which has continued to grow. The more-ness of God desires to include the whole world in a net of love and belonging.
Even so, come Lord Jesus the Christ, come gather us up and gather us in until we are truly yours. Amen.
This is my work informed by all I have heard, read and experienced. I am indebted to the wisdom of others. This week I am particularly grateful to:
An Informed Faith by John T Squires “Leave everything, follow Jesus (Luke 5:1-11; Epiphany 5C)” www.johntsquires.com
